Disclaimer: I generally put forth great effort to be brief but there is no brevity today. I am also pretty sure that this post is more for myself than for anyone else but its what is on my mind so I decided to share.
I don’t know if its a result of being cooped up or the fact that my birthday is coming up and I’m realizing I really am an adult (and have been for a while), but I have been doing a lot of reflecting over the last few days about our life. I have mostly been thinking about what I want our life to look like. What kind of wife and mother I want to be, what kind of family I want to have and what I want the day-to-day to look like. While thinking on all these things I came up with a long list and was then hit with a reality check: there is no magic day!
Let me explain.
I want to be the kind of wife that sees her husband off to work and has dinner ready (or at least a plan for dinner) when he gets home. I want Jake to look forward to coming home because it is a place of rest, where he feels loved and respected. I want to be the kind of wife that sets aside time for just us, that will step away from housework, kids and crafts for as long as it takes to nurture our marriage. I want to be the kind of wife that is responsible with finances that contributes in creative ways. The kind of wife that diligently prays for and encourages her husband.
I want to have the kind of house where everything has a place. A house that is really clean, not just surface clean. I want every room to smell fantastic all the time, not just when someone might stop by. I want things to be organized. I want to remember that doing the dishes now is always easier than doing the dishes later. I want to have the kind of home that my kids want to have friends over, a place people want to be. A home that is inviting and welcoming and that people feel comfortable in.
I want my kids to intimately know Christ and feel an overwhelming sense of love. I want them to care less about TV and video games. To be creative and funny, to love being outside and to love being together. I want sit down together at the dinner table, enjoy good food and talk about the day. I want to be the kind of family that goes on road trips, day hikes, camping adventures and family vacations. I want to have a farm. Where our kids grow up knowing where their food comes from – fruits, veggies, animals, all of it! I want them to be an active part of the things they consume because I believe we were created to live that way. I want to be a family that makes decisions based on what is best for us not what is normal or most well received.
I want to be the kind of person people can count on. One that is encouraging and refreshing to others. I want to be in shape. Please note I did not say I want to lose weight, but rather be in shape. To be able to run and jump and play with my kids without getting overwhelmingly winded. I want to drink more water. I want to create more. I want to start an Etsy shop. I want to not only be a project starter but a project finisher. I want to be more thoughtful and intentional in friendships. I want to be a note writer and a memory recorder. I want to be an incredible gardener, an avid canner and probably even a bee keeper.
These are not things if feel like I should be doing or things someone else is imposing on me. I am not listing these out of a place of feeling inadequate in my current abilities as a wife and mother. These are things I desire. I truly want to do and be all of these things.
I know it’s probably not news to anyone else but this weekend, it hit me. There is no magic day. I can’t just wait for the magic day that waking up at or before 6 am feels amazing. I can’t wait for the day that I suddenly have a burning excitement to clean the house or to organize a closet. I can’t wait for the day when it sounds like more fun to write a meal plan than to sit and look at Pinterest for an entire afternoon. I can’t wait. This is our life. It is happening right now. And if I truly do desire all those things for my life, I have to start doing something about it. Those things take planning, preparation, diligence, discipline and practice. They won’t happen over night.
And so begins the building of new habits. I start this week with waking up when Jake does and we’ll see where it goes from there. I intend to do this whole thing in a way that I don’t get overwhelmed or burnt out. It’s a lifestyle after all. I plan on taking the month of March for the planning phase, getting all my ducks in a row if you will. Figuring out what needs to be done on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Making lists of things that I would like to do around the house, for or with Jake and the babe, things I want to be doing for myself and deciding how to practically incorporate those things into our life. There may even be printable to come!
We’ll see where this new lease on my job as a stay at home mom takes us! I for one am excited!